wondering...??

if you're wondering why it has been such a long time since i last posted here, we're probably not friends, which means you're stalking us online. stop it.

but if you've been waiting with much anticipation for my return...ummm, we'll that's probably unlikely...but nonetheless i post.

you may be thinking my absence from the blog has something to do with juggling a new ph.d. program, being a new dad, being a husband to the bride, etc. but really, i've been preoccupied with something on a whole other scale. my absence is for one reason and one reason alone - i present it to you via pictures. enjoy:

:: the way it is supposed look ::

(excuse the boobies)

:: the way it looks when 'daddy' does it ::

:: an expression i expect to get at various times throughout ella's life ::

again soon...
-scott|e.

either grow or die

although i'm not old enough to remember, i found this paragraph to be both attestable and prescient:

"...Anyone who’s old enough to remember LBJ’s civil-rights laws, and the many other reform measures enacted from the Great Society to the present, has learned two things: (1) A federal bureaucracy must either grow or die; and (2) a federal bureaucracy never dies. As the abuses that a law was designed to fight are eliminated, the enforcement apparatus does not shrink to match; instead it expands and finds new abuses — and when those run out, it starts inventing them."

fred schwarz, in 'the corner.'

you can get the entire post here.
-scott|e.

mysterious mathematical riddles...and you don't even need a ph.d.

alright...i know it's not my "field," so to speak (as ph.d.'s are fond of boasting with all sorts of grandiloquence), but i'm feeling adventurous, and quite honestly, on the eve of a new program, like an almost ph.d. so hold on to you seats, i'm moving outside the old testament for a moment to wow you with my intellectual-ness, to sweep you up in all my brilliance, to baffle you with my brain. for i have cracked a mathematical mystery.

i'd hate to attribute this to my unfounded genius, but since so many are so slow in finding it when it comes to me (i wonder why?!), i don't know how else to explain the revelation i had in our kitchen the other day.

[for privacy concerns, i will not be revealing the scores of the math portion of my GRE. but let's just say that gloriously stupid (and expensive...and stressful...and unhelpful...and irritating) standardized exam certainly underestimated my mathematics acuity]

are you ready? here is the riddle: how does (1/2 lb. + 1/2 lb)/9 = 10lbs.?

nothing, huh?

well, i guess i'll have to explain such things to my readers step-by-step. i hope you don't get lost in the details.

• first, before Hannah went all high blood pressure on me, she would not let her husband go to the grocery store for us. she always claimed it would just be easier for her to do it herself. well, what's that mean? does she not know i'm almost a ph.d. student?
  
• second, just under two weeks ago, the above mentioned wife surprised me with some of my favorite deli delights. she must have thought to herself, "why should he suffer without lunch meats just because i can't eat them? i mean, our kid won't have 10 eyes if he eats this stuff, right? i think that only applies to me." so she went all out, getting me all the fixings to make an italian sub (she knows i'm missing wawa).
• what follows is a portion of the kroger receipt: ...american cheese (bleep), a 1/2 lb. of salami (bleep), and a 1/2 lb. of pepperoni (bleep)...

so the other day i'm standing in the kitchen, looking at two empty bags of salami and pepperoni wondering where it all went. at first i was kind of frustrated and in shock. i couldn't believe that Hannah, being tempted by all the goodness of an italian sub, would go against the doctor's orders and eat my deli meats. it just didn't seem like her.

...but then it hit me. she didn't.

thus solves the mystery:
(1/2 lb of salami + 1/2 lb. of pepperoni)/divided by a mere 9 days = 10 lbs. of extra me.

brilllllllllllllll-ant!
-scott|e.

:: reasonable charisma :: part 2 - reverse the curse & healing

at some point, those of you still reading are going to start thinking i'm making these things up...i could only wish.

a portion of the second installment of "reasonable charisma" takes place from the perspective of the barber shop chair, on location in nicholasville, ky. it appears that the vantage point from this chair transcends the vast cultural differences between new jersey and kentucky. and, as you are well aware, i seem to have become a magnet of the ridiculous while getting what's left of my hair cut. here in the bluegrass it only took one experience at the local supercuts to realize that although it may take on different forms (or should i say "manifestations"?), it's essentially the same.

but before getting to the specifics of ms. crazy hair cutter lady, i'm going to begin with a recent conversation i had with some friends. i think it would be fair to say that these two gals are on the charismatic side of the church world. again, i do not intend to disparage with such labels, only to offer some perspective. at the very least, their perspective makes for interesting, if not fun, conversation. you should also know that i believe both of them are seeking to follow after Christ with everything that they are.

for the better part of the last eight or so years we had been involved in various ministry settings together, but over the last couple of years we haven't seen each other or talked much at all. i've been getting most of my updates on how they were doing from a mutual friend. about a month ago, we were all in indianapolis at the same time and had a chance to catch up on my way to terre haute. it was nice. we talked about ministry, the church, and what Christ was doing in our lives...the usual. interspersed throughout our conversation, however, there were also various moments when i just had to sit back and respond with, "really...that's interesting."

i'll offer two examples of what i mean just to set up the scene - the second being more illustrative for my point. they were wanting to know all things Hannah and baby and of course asked whether we were having a boy or girl. since we don't know i could only offer up my guess work. i told them that basically for Hannah's whole pregnancy i had thought we were having a boy, but the week before i saw them i had had a dream that we were having a little girl. so i was all confused. well, this proved too much to let pass for those predisposed to the ecstatic. for i had set off all kinds of charismatic alarms with that info. "well that means you're having a girl!," they explained with a twinkle in their eyes, as though they had just given Hannah, via my presence, a spiritualized ultrasound. besides having a 50/50 shot at being right, in their minds the dream was a sign...a gift, maybe. at this point, i decided to keep the other dream i had been having to myself. in my long wait for the g.i. joe movie to come out, i've been having a recurring nightmare where cobra command and all of its minions are hunting me down with some sort of lethal atomic weapon, terrorizing me and killing the children i was trying to protect. i didn't want to rob them of their twinkle, so i went with the ambiguous, "really...that's interesting."

the second example i'll offer also had to do with our baby, and it caught my attention. at some point in the conversation somebody brought up the possibility of having a pain-free birth. a couple of their friends had read a book called, painless childbirth, and they were all about it. again, i went with, "really...that's interesting." last i heard it would feel something like pulling my upper lip over my head and then around to the bottom of my feet - but i'm a dude and the only one in the conversation, so what did i know? at the heart of this idea was a catchy little phrase they repeated a few times, "reverse the curse." as most of you will know, after the fall (capital f) God pronounces part of the curse in gen. 3:16, "to the woman He said, 'I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing; with pain you will give birth to children...'" the thought behind "reversing the curse" is that because we are Christians this curse has apparently become null and void in Christ's redemption.

basically, at its minimum, this is a subtle variation on the 'health & wealth gospel.' if you're not familiar with it, simply turn on tbn...you'll get your fill there. without caricaturing it, i think the basic thrust could best be explained by saying that those who believe such things think that God wants us to be blessed in this life; the "blessing" works out to mean that Christians will be free from pain, suffering, disease, and poverty. thus, the individual and collective health & wealth of the church becomes a witness to what God can do and wants to do for His people. in its worst forms, the thought implies that sickness, suffering or poverty is seen as the result of one's lack of faith or some personal sin. hang on to that for a moment.

now, fast-forward to supercuts just a week or so after the above conversation took place. there i was waiting to get my haircut, hoping that i would get through the experience without any commentary on the baldness or any shampoo suggestions, and thinking about how i should open up the conversation. do i start with a joke about it or just act like the top isn't thinning? well, my time came to get into the chair and it became obvious that once again this visit would constitute instant blog material. after discovering that we had moved to the area so that i could go to seminary, i immediately became proving ground for ms. crazy hair cutter lady to theologically evangelize me with the 'health & wealth gospel'...

at this point, without any charismatic baggage from my past, i'm beginning to wonder - is this a sign?!

a hair cut these days should take no longer than 20 minutes - at most. i was sitting there for an hour. there ain't that much left up there. needless to say, her evangelism was in overdrive. altogether, i probably talked for 45 seconds during this span. now, some of you may be thinking, "45 seconds? wow! i didn't know scott could shut up for that long?" and, in turn, start believing in miracles, of the charismatic sort. but trust me, i was trying to insert my voice...but each and every time she asked me what i thought, she would quickly move onto the next topic of her choice.

she spattered me with all kinds of personal history and theological regurgitations of tbn (one of her favorites: jesse duplantis). about four years ago, after a battle cancer, she was invited to some revival meetings. it was there, after her cancer had gone into remission (the way it always seems to happen), she heard some form of the health & wealth gospel and she was in...hook, line and sinker. at one point she said to me, "God's plan for Christians is that we would just simply die in peace - no suffering, no sickness, no pain." and, of course, if you tithe to those nice folks with big hair on tv, God would also send material blessing. again, the idea of "reverse the curse" was prevalent once again.

to be honest, all of it sounds really good to me. we know God is the divine healer, we know and trust that He's still in the business of healing, and it certainly makes sense that He would want to "reverse the curse." right?

but what rarely occurs to those who profess these ideas is that when they say that we are supposed to "die in peace with no sickness or suffering," they are admitting their participation in the fall. if you're not following that point, very simply it is this: we weren't created to die. death is a result of humanity's fall. this is important, because we can easily get caught up in the excitement and the persuasiveness of what sounds right and yet miss the details and the finer points of God's work in this world.

in the brief 45 seconds i had with ms. crazy (for short), i shared with her that death is part of the curse. her response: "when i die it won't be a curse, i will be celebrating" well, that's an interesting way to dodge the point...but the fact remains, anyone who maintains a "reverse the curse" theology where sickness and suffering equates to a lack of faith or some moral failure must account for the curse of death that all of us must face. there's redemption, but there is no reversal.

okay, how to make this scattered and lengthy blog "reasonable"? after thinking about these experiences for the last few weeks, my thoughts have indeed been focused on God's healing - but more so on its vastness and variety.

each of us know all too well that we live in a fractured world, where sickness and poverty are plentiful. for those of us who are Christian, we also know that we put our faith in a God who is one who not only healed in the pages of Scripture but continues to bring healing and peace into the 21st century. i hope you know that the point of this post is not to suggest that God is somehow limited in His ability to heal. it's very reasonable for a Christian to believe that the One who was raised from the grave is able to heal, and we should be praying for such things. what is unreasonable is for us to make our proneness for the immediate, the sensational, and the simple catch phrases to be the foundation of God's ways in this world. it's not true to Scripture and it's not true to the faithful who have gone before us.

so it might also be advantageous (and more accurate) if we recognized a diversity in the way that God heals in this broken world. while it sounds nice to believe God to be a one-stop shop of "reversing the curse" and thereby ending our suffering and strife on this globe, i'm making a claim that the His healing comes more often than not in rather unsuspecting ways.

i think of folks like Jim Harriman, who for over four years now has selflessly cared for his ill wife. i wonder if we took the time to look closely enough at their situation (and those like theirs) we wouldn't see a clear(er) sign of God's healing presence in the tenderness, devotion, faithfulness, and ultimate trust that Jim continues to put in Christ as he cares for Pam. what makes thse qualities all the more compelling is that these things can never be separated from the real life grief and heartache of the last four years. sure, this kind of healing might not be showy and it just might require us to pray for eyes to see, but i think our broken world needs to see this kind of witness of faithfulness and love that Jim has allowed to flow through his life - even when no instantaneous healing is in sight. it may be that this is exactly the kind of healing that the world needs...

do i think God could heal Pam? absolutely. have i been praying for it? absolutely. but, what i'm trying to say is that my faith and our lives as Christians do not hang on whether we evidence God's physical healing in Pam's body or not...my hope is that God will still bring about healing in her life, but i'm also becoming more and more interested in the healing that extends beyond just one person's illness. ...to be honest, it's difficult to listen to Jim's story...not because of any of the specifics of Pam's illness, but because God has been and continues to bring me face-to-face my selfishness. i need that redemptive work of healing.

there is a healing for the nations in the selflessness and faith expressed in the face of suffering. we need not act embarrassed about frailties...we are all frail and are moving toward the grave. our hope, though, is in Christ who can generate healing in a vast variety of ways in our lives.

in Christ's healing selflessness,
-scott|e.

"plugged in" to the principles: two articles on health care

something that has to be very clear in this whole debate about what kind of health care reform is needed is that it is fundamentally intertwined with the principles that this country is founded upon.

one from steyn (one of the best i've read - it offers some of his initial insights on this whole issue of life expectancy that so many are referring to):

"[pres. Obama] was reassuring the crowd that provision for mandatory 'end-of-life counseling' has 'gotten spun into this idea of ‘death panels.’ I am not in favor of that.' Well, that’s good to know. So good that a grateful audience applauded the president’s pledge not to kill them. He has no plans, as he put it, to 'pull the plug on Grandma.'

The problem with government health systems is not that they pull the plug on Grandma. It’s that Grandma has a ____ of a time getting plugged in in the first place."

one from goldberg:

"Under the plan discussed at President Obama’s infomercial-esqe town halls, America would cut costs and expand coverage while avoiding rationing. Apparently, it’s paranoid to think that’s too good to be true..."

"When it comes to civil liberties, liberals are often distrustful of government power. But, for reasons that baffle me, they are quite comfortable with Uncle Sam getting into the business of deciding, or providing “guidance” on, which lives are more valuable than others. A government charged with extending life expectancy must meddle not just with our health care, but with what we eat, how we drive, how we live. A government determined to cut costs must meddle not just with how we live, but how we die."

-scott|e.

:: reasonable charisma :: part 1 - better to speak five words

the early years following the summer of 1997 were formative in ways that i could not fully describe for you in one sitting (nor would you want me to...i tend to get a little verbose if you know what i'm saying). but during these years i was learning how to live in Christ with and for my family, friends, and a fraternity. those were frustratingly glorious days. i wanted to constantly immerse myself in the life of the church and any other ministry i could. not only did i have this passion to grow and learn all i could, i soon realized i also needed these oases of Christ's grace on a regular basis. while there were all kinds of mistakes and failures along the way, there was an energy about the fact that Christ had done something in me and was desiring to do much more.

here's what my normal week looked like while i was in cincinnati at school: sunday morning i was in worship, if i could find something on sunday evening i'd make my way there a good bit too; on tuesday afternoons i met with a guy from campus crusade; wednesday night, without fail, i was at the vineyard for worship and teaching; and thursday nights i was at campus crusade's weekly gathering (1998-ish on). when thursday night was over i couldn't wait to get the cycle started all over again on sunday; so, in my spare time i filled in the gaps with tbn (and yet another embarrassing statement by me on the blog).

about nine or so years ago i was in the middle of my semester, in the middle of what seemed to be a normal week. but on one particular wednesday night, while i was at a vineyard mid-week service, it was clear that all i knew to be normal would soon change. that evening, in the midst of our worship, there was a pinpointed ache within me knowing it wouldn't be too long before my dad would breath his last and he would be transformed by the glorifying grace of Christ's welcome into paradise. for whatever the reason that night my thoughts shifted to the grief the family was already beginning to feel, and the lingering ache that had become so normal for us had zeroed in on my heart with some weight. i decided i needed to take advantage of the invitation to pray with some folks from the church's prayer ministry.

i remember slowing wandering out into the cafe and sitting down with two gentlemen who were part of this team. i shared a little with them about why i was there and we began to pray. what i really remember from that night was that my heart needed to be ministered to.

not one word they they uttered, however, was intelligible to me - they prayed over me in tongues (as opposed to with me). it went on for what seemed like twenty minutes, probably more like five, and the whole time all i could think was that my heart need something they these guys had missed. i know the line of reasoning that follows: "isn't it better that we pray in tongues even if you couldn't understand? the Spirit is the one who does the work; we were just speaking directly to Him (1 cor. 14:2)." well, sure...i guess. and while i follow and i don't doubt that God hears our prayers...that evening my heart needed to be ministered to...and i would have taken five words that ministered to that ache (v. 19).

[...sidetrack...]

now, before i go any further, you need to know a couple things.

first, i believe in the gift of tongues...in all of its multifaceted-ness. i feel like i need to insert some eerie halloween background soundtrack in making such a statement...but actually it's not all that spooky, it's much more reasonable than that. it might help you to know that luther, the guy who was preaching when the Lord captured my heart, was on the charismatic side of things and he had a significant influence in my life early on. although such undercurrents weren't front and center in luther's life (which is precisely the way it should be - not front and center), i knew they were there.

but even beyond that, when i first became a Christian i just wanted to surround myself with people who were excited about Christ; this naturally led me to all sorts of services and crazy-crizzle church events. i often made my way to services and revivals (sometimes alone) that no good methodist should have been attending. but if the Spirit of God seemed to be at work in people, i wanted to be around it. i have attended a brownsville revival service, got me a live t.d. jakes fix, been to a couple revivals that were off the charts crazy, and on it could go. it probably didn't hurt (or: "help" - some might say!?) that i really did fill in the gaps with tbn when friends and family weren't looking.

needless to say, i've seen and heard a lot - tongues, the shaking, the running, the shouting, and all sorts of other "manifestations" to make people feel downright uncomfortable...but only for the first few times; after that, if you're anything like me, you just kind of took it for what it was.

there were many blessing in my life during those days and i don't want to underestimate that fact. i have, however, also seen much abuse in this area. be it an emotional high that does little to transform one's character or the idea that this approach is somehow superior to other ways of worshipping.

my all time favorite, in this regard, is when someone asks you if they can pray with you "in the Spirit." who doesn't want that?! i must admit, prior to such experiences i had always thought that was kind of a given. by this, what many mean (i stress "many," not all), is that they want to know if they can really pray with you, as opposed to just "regular" prayers, that are...ummm...apparently devoid of the Spirit?

a close second favorite was hearing jesse duplantis tell a story about an experience he had on a plane with a person who was "possessed." turns out there was another like-minded duplantis-ite on the plane and they decided to team up together. so after conferring with one another "in the Spirit" (yes, you heard me right) they began to pray for the person. now, to this day, i'm still hoping i heard it wrong, but i'm fairly certain the claim was that these two dudes conversed with one another "in the Spirit" and decided out of that dialogue they should pray. ...whatever that means.

the second thing you should know about me is that i have never spoken in tongues. you may now rest your restless hearts. early on in my journey of faith i prayed for it, fairly earnestly actually. i even contemplated attending one of those "if you want to learn how to pray in tongues" sessions, but such things never really settled right in me.

now that you know all that, let me end this sidetrack with a quick confession. though i have had a cazillion years of seminary education and i have read quite a few things on the topic, if you were to ask me about the theological ins and outs of my thinking on this issue, i would stumble around for about five minutes and then, ironically enough, would probably begin to mutter something rather unintelligible as a response. in the end, i would point to a few Scripture passages, throw my hands up, and leave it be.

[...end of sidetrack...]

so where's the "reasonableness" in all of this?

is the reasonable simply found in the fact that i have experienced the crazy and have seen its abuses and found it to be a more moderate position to assert that i "believe" in tongues even though i can't reasonably explain it? if that is the case, this isn't all that helpful. or maybe worse, is this just some attempt by me to make it seem like i'm down with the charismatics and thereby position myself in some moderated evangelical charismatic clique of "being closer to being in the Spirit than you are"? i should hope not.

let me try to tie this up. i've been thinking recently a bit about my own prayer life. you know i am on the receiving end of a lot of prayer requests...it kind of comes with the territory. and when i get these requests, more often than not, i'll look at the person with all kinds of sincerity and assure them that i will most definitely pray; i then move along and go about my business. most of the time i do pray when i am asked. but now i'm wondering if in telling people that i will pray for them rather than actually praying with them i'm not just like those dudes i prayed with in the vineyard cafe. i can only imagine that what was unintelligible to me that evening at the vineyard is a very similar sensation to the assurance of my present silence that i will pray for others...later.

it's easy to assume that the point of prayer is simply that we pray to God - for He is the one who does the work. and i believe this...but in the Triune God's goodness He has given us a community to support and undertake for each other. these days i'm thinking it might be better if we take Christ's call on our lives to encourage and minister to one another a bit more seriously.

i certainly don't want to take paul out of context here. but i wonder if all of us don't need a good dose of the truth he offered in 1 corinthians 14:19. there he says, "...I would rather speak five understandable words to help others than ten thousand words in an unknown language." all of us non-charismatics can give a hearty "amen" to that. but could it not also be said, "...I would rather speak five understandable words to help others than ten thousand words in the silence of my own prayers." part of the point of prayer is that we become an encouragement to one another; God enjoys being in the midst of this kind of exchange of ministry...and as far as i can tell people crave this kind of sincere and bold community.

sometimes we who are not predisposed to being full-blown charismatics ourselves could use a little more charisma in praying for one another. this week be an encouragement to someone by praying for them...with them. i think if we do this we will all discover that it is quite a reasonable thing to do in the life of the church.

oo-wee-uu-wuu (my eerie halloween background),
-scott|e.

and "friends" are "friends" forever...

okay...i initially had the kernel of an idea about a blog, but now that i've titled the thing and subsequently went searching google for a michael w. smith pic to grab your undivided attention, i must confess i have no idea where this is going.

the title will become obvious in the second part of this post, but the picture...well, it left me speechless, as though i vomited up those one thousand words it was supposed to usher forth, but then fought with all my might to swallow them back down to the place where no one could know that i even thought them. but what kind of blog would this be if i did that sort of thing? so, what has become par for the blogging course here, i now post somewhat disturbing things for you to read.

the cover "art" (if you can call it that) above is from michael w. smith's album "go west young man"...and it has absolutely nothing to do with the title or topic of this post. you should know the song 'friends' is not on the "go west" album (just in case you got the tune stuck in your head after reading the title and got the sudden urge to run out and purchase it).

'friends,' of course, is possibly one of the worst songs ever written (unless you were into the whole ray boltz scene...but we know how that turned out. as an aside, after writing that i thought i should check up my main man, ray. turns out he just released a new song entitled, "don't tell me who to love"...yea, no kidding. i wish i had the desire to appropriately comment...instead here's the link. if you followed that little rabbit trail, you now know he's still writing horrible music). but back to michael w. ironically enough, as i was looking for a throw away picture of him only because i was using a line from 'friends' as my title, i found the one above which got me reminiscing about what has got to be one of the greatest cross-over songs of all time. when "go west young man" came out in 1990, i was a 12 year old middle schooler who was either going to be the next michael phelps or go straight to the NBA after graduating from RVMS...neither path really worked out as planned and ever since i've just been trying to find my place in this world...ya know what i'm saying? ahh yes, 'my place in this world' - to a 6th grader's mind, this was a lyrical and emotional masterpiece.

i actually remember going into the camelot music store at the greentree mall and purchasing the cassette single of this song, feeling the first twinges of i'm-an-oh-so-cool-pseudo-Christian sensation in the process (i wasn't a Christian at that point but it sure did seem like i was as i purchased a Christian song...well, sort of Christian...in a camelot store), putting on the koss headphones, and singing my little 6th grade heart out. what i may have lacked in vocal ability, i gained in passion - passion that resurfaced with each and every rewind. as i remember it, there was a lot of pressure on me back in 6th grade and i felt like i was roaming through the night, with not a lot to lean on, trying to find my place in this world...

did i really just write all that? maybe a better question is, did you really just read all that?!

well, as i said, that intro has absolutely nothing to do with what is to follow. i now turn your attention to the point of this post: friends, specifically the phenomenon of facebook friends.

while many of you will undoubtedly think this to be a critique of that glorious social networking site, i beg to differ. even post-an active youth pastor position, i now find myself making all sorts of other excuses for why i'm always checking in to see what people are up to or if they have commented on something i'm up to.

but last weekend i had an experience that got me thinking about a few things. last sunday Hannah and i were in lousiville on our way back to lexington and i saw this girl that i "know." actually i'm friends with her on facebook; so whether i know her or not is somewhat debatable...but she almost definitely knows i just updated my status for the twentieth time this morning.

what i really mean to say is that i've met here once or twice in my life (i think), but i don't really know her all that well. we are indeed friends on facebook, but most likely that is because we have a number of mutual acquaintances...beyond that connection, however, there's really not all that much that's lasting between the two of us.

now, for the record, sometimes this is what makes facebook fun. getting an opportunity to catch up with folks that i had known many years ago or didn't know all that well has been pleasurable. but this "friend" just sits in my friend container with very little interaction, if any at all.

so when i say "i saw" her, saw is strategic because we never exchanged a word. i could have said any number of things, one thinks of something like "hey" or any other form of greeting one might be predisposed to giving a friend. but as i am trying to make very clear, we are "friends," not necessarily friends. for about three seconds i had this debate going on and ultimately decided it would be better for us both if i just kept quite and moved along to the car. i chose not to say a single word...there were just too many unknown variables.

the following are some of the questions that quickly raced through my head as i contemplated how to say say hello. do i go with the general "hey;" the pleasant and jovial "what's up;" the subtly cool but over-the-top "what's going oooon;" or the awkward and frantic get me out of this conversation with this sorta-friend "how ya been...since we met, that one time...about a decade ago?" are you getting the picture?

there were of course other worries as well. even though i know her last five status updates, since we're only "friends," there were all sorts of factors that could have contributed to making the conversation rather clumsy in a hurry. below i have listed only a few of the possibilities. my hypothetical responses to the potential awkwardness that might have ensued follow in yellow:

1. what's her name? (hey jerusha?! umm, i mean karen. you've got to be kiddin me, i just read her status and now i can't remember her name!? sorry, thought you were somebody else...umm, have a great day)
   
2. what if she doesn't recognize me?! (it must be my beard. yea, i have a profile pic up right now where i'm clean shaven. you know, it's me, scott engebretson?!)
   
3. puzzled look of "who is this guy?" (remember, i posted that status update the other day about half and half...half and half and water? what do you mean you "hid" my updates? what's the point of this friendship?!)
4. remember me? we've been facebook friends for like a year now? (really? no recollection...huh? didn't you invite me?)
   
5. she thinks i'm awkward-facebook-stalker-boy? (let me introduce you to my wife, Hannah. she's on facebook too. you two ought to become "friends." this will be great!)
6. [after getting home later that evening] Hannah, why do i have one less friend on facebook? (then i'm forced to deal with the grief of losing a good friend)

it was actually fairly funny. technically, i'm already friends with this person, but i feared rejection. that's an interesting take on the whole friendship thing.

oh well, i really do enjoy facebook though. i have been able to keep up with folks that i may otherwise have rarely gotten the chance to do so with, but this experience just got me thinking that facebook "friends" may not be forever...or maybe even, the friendship has never really begun.

got to run, need to go update my facebook status...i've got friends waiting.
-scott|e.

the belly grows.

here's a pregnant pictorial update for ya...

31 weeks today. just taken a few minutes ago:

and so the belly grows... she's quite the pregnant knockout.
-scott|e.

dropped calls.

i have a LG flip phone that was free that last time Hannah and i renewed our cell phone contracts. i usually tend not to go the free route...because you get what you pay for; so, needless to say the ol' cell phone is a bit dated. now i'm starting to experience dropped calls more frequently. yesterday's dropped call, however, was unique.

so i'm making myself some lunch yesterday afternoon - a totino's meat lovers frozen pizza for those wondering - and as i'm waiting on our 1963 oven (a bit dated itself. i feel like i'm at nana's house on east carter) to heat up, i decided to make a phone call to a friend down in mississippi. you know, do a little multi-tasking: cook lunch and make a phone call all at the same time! yes, i am quite incredible, if i do say so myself.

about 2.22 minutes into the phone conversation, i hear the subtle click of our old oven (as opposed to a buzzer or beep that one might be accustomed to hearing today) letting me know the oven was indeed at 450 degrees. i've been eating these totino's pizzas for some time and i've always thought that 450 degrees was significant. i mean, what else does one cook in the oven at 450 degrees?

anyway, the difficulty of mutli-tasking always comes into play whenever one actually has to do multiple things at the same time. so let me offer you the step-by-step, easy to do process for placing a pizza in the oven while talking on the phone:

#1 - place phone firmly between ear and shoulder and continue talking.
#2 - pick up pizza and place it on the oven rack.
#3 - pull out hand and touch side of oven with your thumb...

that's right, nothing like placing the pizza on the rack only to get caught up in the conversation before pulling my hand out of the 450 degree oven safely. immediately, my head (and ear) lifted from my shoulder as i tried to figure out what that sensation was on my hand. but once the head lifted from the shoulder, the firm suction of ear+phone+shoulder came undone and my phone flipped into the inferno.

[for those perceptive readers out there, you may be asking yourself why i didn't utilize the speaker phone. yea...well, i don't know. but thanks for inquiring]

at about this moment in the ordeal, i obviously stopped thinking. with a bit of a tingle going on around my thumb, i thought it reasonable to try to explain to Tom (basically yelling into the oven at my phone) what had happened while i cautiously - but frantically - tried to recover my phone from that oven without burning myself any further and before my phone melted. i am glad to report that i rescued the phone without it melting or me getting burned...again.

at some point between leaving my shoulder and its recovery the phone had been jarred off. undoubtedly a dropped call, but just not of the typical sort.

as i powered the phone back on, i immediately got a call back from Tom. this was my favorite part of the experience. a little embarrassed and apologetic, he began to explain to me that his family had been on him about getting a new phone because his phone keeps dropping calls. yes. that's it...! i almost encouraged him to go out and purchase an LG flip phone, but couldn't bring myself to it.

i do have some serious posts coming...i promise.
-scott|e.

it's that time again...

i was in terre haute at camp one week and the colts are there this week.

the NFL season is almost upon us, which means all sorts of family fun, such things as: fantasy football (included in this is: trash talking eric, garry, and brutalizing jason), sunday afternoons of nothing other than sabbath keeping to the extreme (i do little more than watch football...of course, this year i will also be adding burping a child to the mix, but all the same...or so i like to think in my mind...i will at least have the tv on, okay!), and playing the at-home review guy for the tailgate crew and season ticket holders.

if you are at all interested here are some links to follow all things colts:

• indystar coverage
  
• stampede blue
• indy football report
• coltpower.com (tweeting from camp. the best kind - you don't have to be a twit to get them)
• colts.com
  

enjoy.
-scott|e.

:: step up, step up, step up and let your voice be heard ::

what do lisa ling, a B-movie, and a little revolution in the air have to do with each other? it's been a few weeks now and i'm a little behind in my current affairs with the move, but there are some things that have been rumbling around in this mind of mine.

i begin with a refresher: do you recall the situation in north korea with laura ling and euna lee? or have you already forgotten? they're still there. these two ladies were filming a documentary from the border of china and north korea and were accused of allegedly crossing into kim jong il's den. they were promptly seized by north korean officials and immediately faced some significant charges - spying if i recall correctly.

a few days before their "trial," i was watching a 20/20 bit with lisa ling, laura's sister and fairly well-known news correspondent (cnn, the view, and, everybody's favorite, channel one). there lisa sat, telling the heart-rending story of her sister's capture and imprisonment. many of the details remain unclear still, but from the start it wasn't a good situation and turned for the worse when laura and euna were sentenced to 12 years in a north korean labor camp. during the interview lisa ling, undoubtedly desiring to "tug on the heart strings" of ol' kimmey, uttered the words, "i believe in the good of all people" (or something very close to that).

you need to know that as a good wesleyan i could give you all the theological ins and outs of total depravity to which i firmly hold. honestly, though, i doubt most people who claim this sort of fundamental, though ambiguous, "good" in people are investigating the theological nuances of entire depravity. throughout history there have always been valiant attempts to do away with this Biblical and theological reality lying at the core of our hearts, but the perversion, brokenness, and the utter self-centeredness always seem to win out over the best that any pop-psychology has to offer. i presume, when such things are spoken people simply desire to smooth over that which is otherwise observable with vague generalities about "goodness." it would be easy to write lisa's line off as wishful thinking that is horribly misplaced or the wishful optimism of a hurting sister.

who doesn't like goodness and want to see more of it in this world? i really think there is a genuine desire in the majority of people to see more good things happen. the problem, however, is that too many often stop at a surface level good - again, it's all rather undefinable and ambiguous - but it makes people feel all cuddly. but once you get past the surface, i find the very reason i take my call to preach the Gospel of Jesus Christ so seriously. i really believe that the Father, Son and Holy Spirit is our only remedy and is the only one who can bring goodness into our lives.

but in this particular case, lisa's surface level statement seemed a bit misplaced and had me a bit mystified as well. doesn't all the gibberish about goodness go out the window when we're talking about kim jong il? does one really have to be theologically nuanced to recognize that a dictator who is not only harboring nuclear weapons but is threatening to use them is a rather ruthless fella? wasn't she talking about the regime that suspiciously arrested and sentenced two women to 12 years in a labor camp for something that allegedly happened? am i out on limb here? you'd think the ambiguity of "the good in all people" might even get a footnote somewhere along the line that reads: "except for people like kim jong il." even the UN sanctions this guy. i guess it's easy for humanity to delude itself. but at what point does the delusion end?

not too many days later i was in new york with jason, a friend who was in visiting. as i've mentioned before, one of my favorite places to visit when in the city is the village. a few record shops i enjoy, washington square, and there's always a sense of dylan nostalgia that runs through my veins...the hope that maybe revolution is still in the air.

anyway, on one of the days we were in the city, we were in the village looking for a place to eat before we made our way up to yankee stadium for a game. as evening was coming, a nice hard rain began to fall. we decided to scrap dinner plans and quickly make our way to 6th avenue to get out of the rain and head up to the bronx. on our way to the train we passed through washington square.

it's funny what people will do when film crews are out and about in new york. lights, camera and action tend to draw a crowd, whether it is raining or not. so there we stood without even knowing what was being filmed. all we could see were a bunch of people huddled around in a little circle, cheering as some music was going in the background. THEN out of nowhere, i see this dude jump up on a table, dancing up a storm.

okay...pre-confession time...the worst thing about hanging around to find out what movie is being filmed is that you almost feel obliged to drop $9 to see the thing. regardless of how bad the movie is you're going to see it because you were there. so here's my confession: they were filming "step up 3." were there really two others?! who knew? woe is me, but at some point i'll probably be seeing it. the only positive i can take from this confession is that i won't have to drop nine bucks to see it - straight to dvd.

if you haven't seen any of these teeny-bopper dramas, join the club. but even without seeing them, i'm fairly certain i have the basic gist of the storyline: two young kids dancing in the rain and falling in love...all sorts of scandalousness...add in a few extras urging the dance on and whala, you have yourself "step up 3."

after jason got his fill taking pictures to satisfy his addiction, we set out for the subway. but before we got too far, on the other side of washington square, there was another event getting ready to start. there, under the infamous arch, several people were setting up a small stage and a microphone. it had all the makings of a rally of some sort.

did i mention i get a little nostalgic when i'm down that way? several years ago, a friend asked me if i could live in any decade pre-me, which it would be. without even thinking, i said the 60s. no, not because i am into all that took place during that period, but because it just seemed to be a time when people were much more radical about things. regardless of whether they were singing about it or talking about it, it just seemed like they meant what they said. i readily admit this may be a completely false perception...but it justs seems that revolution was in the air and people were into it. i lament many of the things that came out of this period, but don't miss my point - people at least seemed to be aware and into what was happening in this world and wanted to see genuine change.

the rally that was about to begin was to show support for laura ling and euna lee. there we stood in the rain trying to figure out how long we had before game time and if we could stick around to be part of what was about to happen. it was rather sad actually. it had all the makings of a rally, except for the people... besides me and jason, there may have been a few others who weren't part of putting the thing together.

...and the rain kept coming. just a few minutes before the event was supposed to start, there was still no one. that's when we decided to make our move to the subway. about 30 feet from the arch, we ran into two college-aged gals. kind of excited, they asked, "what's going on over there?" i told them what was happening and they were blank and puzzled - apparently unaware of the situation surrounding laura and euna.

so, with a bit of jovialness, i pointed passed the arch to the east side of the park. i said, "over there they are filming 'step up 3.'" i vaguely remember hearing one of the girls excitedly say, "no way," but i couldn't quite make out her words as they made a beeline for the lights, camera and action.

what does all this tell us? i don't know, really...but for me these random experiences seemed connected somehow.

we like to say we believe in the good of all people, but even minus a theological perspective, it's not too difficult to see signs that it's just not true. but even more sadly, maybe because we've been telling ourselves that kind of stuff for so long, we've come to the place where we'd just like to believe it and don't really care to notice if something is lurking beneath our surface level statements. we live in this mundane world where nothing is the matter and nothing needs fixing or needs change, so why bother to care? it's easy to get distracted by the lights and glitter of a film crew because the only thing too many of us are radical about anymore is the emptiness of pop-culture...the only problem is that when we rush to see things like the latest 'step up' sequel, it's fairly easy to bypass reality.

but hey...the new yankee stadium was super.

we constantly need a stirring toward that which is important. without such a stirring toward reality, our voices too often get lost in the voices cheering for that which is not real...and really isn't all that great in the first place, but just seems exciting.
-scott|e.

what if?

[update: it appears the 'the engebretson ridiculo/theolo-post' is on the cutting edge of coverage. i'm on politico.com today and found an article entitled, "obama losing his cool?" i checked the dates - definitely after my keen insights here. ]

today i finished my tour de force of doctor visits with my first post-30 physical. for this one i made sure i was in the safe confines of one whom i trust - i made the appointment with the family doctor in louisville that i had been going to before leaving for mississippi. but even with all the feelings of security from our previous encounters, there was still that lingering worry about what was in store for this particular physical. let me illustrate (vaguely. for those who have ears, let them hear...if not, it's probably better that way): last night i was tormented by the thought that not only would this doctor be pulling out one of my wedgies but that he might take it a step further...if you know what i mean. i'm happy to report there was no intrusion to speak of. and while i received no blog material from this visit i found that was a rather refreshing change.

anyway, on the way back to wilmore i was listening to rush on the radio. as i've mentioned before, as much as i agree with the ideas and their principles, sometimes listening to conservative talk radio is frustrating, especially with some of the chosen topics for discussion. for about two hours this afternoon i listened to rush analyze and bust on pres. obama because he threw out the first pitch of the all-star game "like a girl" (notice the quotations). you be the judge:

as a matter of fact, he does throw like a girl, but everyone knows obama's game is basketball anyway (more on that later).

ahhh, yes...exactly what we need; a cheap, frivolous jab about obama's throwing arm as sotomayor is getting ready to be confirmed for the supreme court and health care "reform" is getting ready to be metaphorically "remove-wedgie-and-inserted" for the people, by the congress and administration (and for those keen readers wondering, reform is not the problem...reform that will deform the health care system is). quite frankly, i didn't desire the literal version this morning and don't desire the politically metaphorical version in just a few weeks time.

so there i sat listening...frustrated that the pitch was getting so much airtime when so many crucial things were coming down the line. BUT THEN IT HIT ME...a blog thought, and a metaphorical one at that!

i would assume there's little debate about whether or not obama was/is the coolest president we have ever elected. i mean seriously, who compares in the coolness department? i remember clinton on arseino hall busting out the saxophone, but that doesn't come close to obama's smooth talking, the fact that the guy sends texts to those who support him, he's twitter savvy, and of course there is the infamously indestructible blackberry (the last category catapults him into over the top coolness in my book). he's simply a likable guy and i'm sure that's why so many voted for him. is it too much to assume that many thought his coolness alone would bring about the change and hope he so oft talked about. maybe...

but as i talk to (and listen to) more and more "independents" who are now "leaning to the right" after just a few months of a cool president, i'm intrigued. could the pitch be more than a pitch? could it speak to something far deeper?

what if obama isn't as cool as we thought? what if he throws like a girl? what if, hiding underneath all that "cool" rhetoric, it turns out to be an awkward political mess? (though i'm not completely comfortable with it, i think i just said a girl throws like an "awkward political mess." in the words of hannah, "my lands...")

i didn't see the actual pitch last night, but when i heard the president was throwing it, i assumed it would be smooth. but not so much. i wonder if folks aren't feeling a similar sensation about the pitch they were given leading up to november. i've really enjoyed several people proclaiming with pride that they voted for obama as though they've conquered the world with their declaration...i always ask a simple question - "how's that working out for ya?" i wonder how many expectations have been short-hoped in the last few months.

everybody knows basketball is obama's game; so, why am i now caught up in the discussions about him on a baseball diamond? but then i started thinking about his moments in the basketball spotlight...every time i've seen him on the court he looks like he's suited up for the local "holiness-unto-the-Lord" intramural team.

i want to say there is not a single thing wrong with modesty on a basketball court. in fact, i've played with many friends who were sincere and consistent in their modesty and thought long pants and even long sleeves were appropriate (apparently, obama was playing in a moderate holiness league when the pic above was taken). most of these guys are unconcerned about whether or not someone at the gym thinks they are cool or not - the whole thing is about something else that i can appreciate.

so the question then becomes, is obama concerned with some vaunted, presidential sense of modesty and therefore wears pants on the court as an awareness of his position? i think not:

all im' saying is this, if modesty ain't the reason for the pants on the basketball court, i'm not sure sure the guy belongs there either.

time to wrap up. maybe obama isn't as "cool" as so many initially thought he was. and if that is the case, what if he doesn't turn out to be what so many thought he was supposed be in the political arena either? if he's not, here's all i'm saying...we may be on our way to a government-funded doctor's office visit, which has the potential to afflict us with a great deal of torment and be a rather uncomfortable intrusion in our lives...if you know what i mean ;).

in true athletic coolness,
-scott|e.

the pieces of the puzzle.

[i must be fatigued...the original post from yesterday was a disaster grammatically and in basically every other area of writing. i present...some edits.]

well, it's been too long. things have been crazy in the new jersey edition of the engebretson household and we have been keeping fairly busy.

the summer before hannah and i moved to new jersey my mom, the bride, and i took a mini-vacation/apartment hunting trip to the area. we stayed with mom's cousin in central jersey for a few days and were trying to find just the right place to setup shop while we were in the garden state. the only problem: we had no idea where or what we were really looking for. apartments were crazy expensive and we were trying to find a suitable place to bridge the gap between princeton (school) and edison (the church). now, in normal life, the mere 26 miles between school and the church wouldn't be a big deal. but have you visited jersey lately? if you find yourself in the wrong spot, the first mile of that 26 could take anywhere from 15 to 30 minutes, and i was going to be making the commute between both locales quite often...

i had done a ton of looking online (what did people do before the internet?) and had a general sense of what we were getting into, but i feared getting stuck in a mess from the very beginning. so we looked in princeton and found some okay options, but being that far south made it a bit of a trip to the church. really, the best case scenario would be to find something right in the center, between princeton and edison.

we only had three days (if i recall correctly) to find a place and get our upcoming move in order. at the end of the second day i realized our mission was in trouble. no gps in jersey was proving to be a bit more trying than i had envisioned and we weren't getting anywhere. nothing felt right: either too expensive, too far, or too shady... on our last day of searching we had a couple places lined up to visit and there was one final complex i had wanted to check out...the only problem, i had no idea how to get there and google map was all jacked up. i needed to call the apartment office to get some directions. my friend lisa, the apartment manager, answered the phone with the quintessential northeast response (think: a little attitude) - "i can't tell you how to get here...i commute to this place from PA. i don't know where you are, sorry can't help yas. [click!]" okay, the "click" was a bit much and didn't really happened, but that's the way it felt.

so after overshooting the right exit and wandering down a long river road, i spotted a street i remembered lisa had mentioned. which way to turn...? left, i guess. finally, we found our way onto hamilton street and i can distinctly remember slowly lurching down the road to be sure we didn't miss the place. then, there seemed to be this break as we drove along and on the left was the apartment complex we had been looking for.

i walked into lisa's office and asked if they had anything available and her curt answer was "no. nothing." oh, i thought she had just told me over the phone that they did...but i wasn't going to mess with this chick. so, dejected, i turned to leave and get lost once again in the maze of new jersey roads, when she said, "well" again with attitude, "what you are looking for?" ummm...an apartment!? i thought that would have been obvious considering the situation...but i digress. "when do you need it?" she asked. we were flexible, but needed it by the end of august (about a month, give or take). after a few back-and-forths, we were on our way to tour one of their new, remodeled apartments.

turned out lisa was a community manager who knew how to get things done and was down right good at. we walked into one of the apartments and the place was incredible - everything was basically new: new appliances, new kitchen, newly remodeled bathrooms, and the hardwood floors had just been refinished. at about this point, i knew the drill: i ask how much, and she responds by telling me about $1000 more than we could possibly afford a month. so when she told me what the rent was, i assumed i had gotten a bit of a buzz from the finish rising from the hardwood and didn't hear her right. "whhhaaaaad you saaaaaaaaaay, man?" i asked with bloodshot eyes. "cooool, we'll take it..."

as we get ready to leave this place tomorrow, i'm looking back on that day and really we had no idea. we had no idea how perfect things were coming together. i could go into a ton of detail about our location, our proximity to major thoroughfares and the train station; the ease of getting to both school and the church; how this location opened up the door for hannah to start at the piscataway starbucks; and on and on i could go. i just remember the sense we both had as we looked through that empty apartment with lisa. this was it and we knew it...God didn't speak to us and say "YES, SCOTT THIS SHALL THY BE YOUR ABODE." it was just good. while we knew that, we had no clue how kind God was really being in our lives. we had no idea about so many other pieces of the puzzle that were also coming together, unbeknownst to us. God's graciousness exploded upon our lives as we worked our way down hamilton. i just recall a distinct clarity about it all.

now, once again we are seeing the providential care of God. again, i could go into all sorts of details (and i may at some point), but i've got to get to work packing. it's been crazy...but we're sensing God's goodness toward us as the pieces of the puzzle are coming together in this transition...

thanks for your prayers. we pack tomorrow and head out of town on wednesday afternoon. pray for my sanity.
-scott|e.

justice & empathy...with impartiality?

there's much talk these days about the joining of a judge's empathy and impartiality...and i get it. but the way it is being discussed - from both sides - is a bit of a mystery to me.


before i get very far into this little post, you need to know i don't know much about justice sotomayor - so there's no sense in acting as though i do. i have read national review on her and i have read (lightly) the new republic on her, which gives me some sense of what she will bring to the table, but i don't have the corner on her. i have indeed heard her now infamous youtube statement at duke and i have heard her line ad nauseam about how her experience somehow trumps a white guy's in making judicial decisions. as you are most likely aware, i'm really not into such statements or such ideology... but lest we beat a political dead horse here, i thought i might touch on something else for your reading pleasure.

a few months ago, a friend from back home was talking about glenn beck and suggested that i listen to him. it turned out that his show was on during my daily commute into princeton and so i have been listening to him every so often for the last couple of months.

now there is much that he says that i think is on target. i think he's probably more right than he is wrong and i would probably agree with him more than i disagree with him. i like a lot of his commitments and his 12/9 thingy. but at the same time - and i don't know what it is - there's just some blockage that i can't manage to get past with this dude. i think he can be fairly funny and his sarcasm at times makes me happy, but still there is a disconnect somewhere along the line. i still listen to him from time to time and still agree with him about much, but his style leaves me desiring more.

the other day i was taking the mom into philly so that she could catch her flight, and we happened to be listening to glenn in the background of our conversation. right in the middle of our trip and in the midst of glenn's show, obama announced his supreme court nomination. actually, it was quite funny to hear little comments from glenn and his buddy over top of the live press conference. they can be rather witty and obnoxious (which is something i rather enjoyed for the most part).

before the announcement was officially made, glenn was hitting all the standard things you've been hearing heading into obama's decision: judges making (or not making) policy, why latina women are better at "impartial" judgments than are white males, and of course obama's empathy qualification for his nominations. i want to focus on this notion of empathy for a moment. and just so no one thinks i fell on my head or was smitten by my recent graduation and somehow fundamentally altered my political perspective...the way i sense pres. obama uses empathy in such decisions bothers me to no end and i think sotomayor's comments, that seem to rely on a similar disposition, are completely asinine.

but...as we continued to listen to the radio show after the announcement, it became rather clear that in glenn's opinion empathy has no place in the supreme court. this is at least the way it came across as he mocked the notion. of course, i fully recognize he could have been trying to tilt the scales (if you will) of the conversation back to normalcy, but there was still something there that just didn't come off right.

to be clear, the problem is not with empathy...the problem is with partial empathy, or as i will suggest below, extending empathy beyond what is appropriate (which seems to be the direction obama leans).

here's my point. conservatives, particularly those of the Christian persuasion, do a great deal of talking about how this country and its laws are founded upon a Judeo-Christian worldview. i would agree with such things. but it seems we are prone to affirm only a partial aspect of this influence, focusing on the need for justice as though it were devoid of empathy. but the fact of the matter is that the influence of a Judeo-Christian worldview, which has made this country so unique in many ways, has fundamentally intertwined justice and empathy at its very core.

isn't this the beauty of equality? the notion of equality is empathic in that no one receives partiality - everybody gets a fair hearing before justice is meted out in order to "secure the blessings of liberty to ourselves and our posterity." one might even say "innocent until proven guilty" is the very portrait of empathic justice. you're not guilty just because you're black...you're not guilty just because you're white; you're not guilty just because you're poor...you're not guilty just because you're rich; you're not guilty because you're a Muslim...you're not guilty just because you're a Christian. a sort of "equal protection of the laws" for any and all persons, regardless.

as jonah goldberg suggests:

"...who says conservatives are against judicial empathy? I, for one, am all for it. I’m for empathy for the party most deserving of justice before the Supreme Court, within the bounds of the law and Constitution. If that means siding with a poor black man, great. If that means siding with a rich white one, that’s great too. The same holds for gays and gun owners, single mothers and media conglomerates. We should all rejoice when justices fulfill their oaths and give everyone a fair hearing, even if that’s now out of fashion in the age of Obama."

i guess what i'm trying to say is that rather than mocking the idea of empathy, it might be wiser to articulate a way of emphasizing empathy...of the impartial sort. empathy not only belongs in the courtroom, but it's already inherent in our judicial system.

thus, to mock empathy as though it is inconsequential skews the reality just as promoting an extended sense of empathy seems to be problematic. i'm no lawyer or judge, but to me that is the real tension within a courtroom - to understand and identify, as pres. obama would say, "with people’s hopes and struggles," but all the while hold an impartial stance toward the constitution...justice with empathy.

by mocking the idea of empathy in the courtroom - for whatever the reason - it seems we tilt the scales too far in the other direction and do ourselves no favors by denying a proper perspective of impartial empathy that is rooted in our justice system.

just some thoughts...
-scott|e.

[much props to the engebretson ridiculo-theolo-post legal and political correspondent on this one. eric, you saved me from being accused of falling on my head over the weekend]

ANNOUNCING: another move forward...

today i graduate. i wish i could describe adequately the awareness i have in my life that such things don't come along without others.

for instance, there's a part of me that knows Hannah's name should go somewhere on this diploma. the time she invested in editing my papers, listening to me talk through an idea, or helping me think a little bit more clearly is untold. it astonishes me really. but that's not the way things work in academia, one name on one diploma...but inherently i know there's got to be something more than this blog to say all that she has done and given up over the last couple years to make this day possible. she is quite the woman...and i am grateful for her life.

in the same way, i know all too well that many of you have supported us in a variety of ways through yet another degree. be it financial, prayer, or just listening to me complain about being 30 and still being in school - like i said...these events don't take place without others. so i offer my thanks.

so, in a reflective mood as i look forward to graduation this afternoon, i wanted to pass along my ("our") graduation announcement to say thanks and let you know how much i appreciate the prayers, support and love so many have sent our way over the past few years.

it's a good feeling to move forward.

...after a little celebrating today, we set our sights on the next adventure and what God has for us back in the midwest.

with love and appreciation,
-scott|e.

[by the way, i don't know if it's because i feel like i've done too many of these things already or just was not impressed with what the school was offering by way of announcements, i decided to forgo buying additional announcements than what the school gave me - so this is as official as it gets!]